Never Think
by uncoordinated
Summary: Twilight in Edward's POV. My First fanfiction all together. All characters, all vampires. Might change plot later on, depending on how creative I get. Please read and review! I won't post any more chaps if I don't get reviews!
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, I simply praise Stephenie Meyer for her imagination._

_This was written, assuming you've read Twilight and am familiar with the characters - for they are not all explained. _

_I will not post any more chapters until I get reviews! I don't want to be making a fool of myself if people don't like my writing. **The more **_

_**reviews I get, the more I'll post and keep writing!!**  
_

The Beginning: 1.

Walking down these hallways feels more like a punishment, than a privilege. They have everything to look forward to. I've been through it all, too many times. I watch the same people make the same mistakes, and watch the wrong people pay for them. I keep telling myself that none of them matter; they'll all die in seventy or eighty years and a new group of them will be along… A deathly spiral of nothing, and I get the privilege of meeting them all.

I considered leaving. This life was no obligation; no one was holding me down and making me refuse my natural instincts… my primal hunger. _No_, I thought. I could not let my mind wonder in such directions. Though, Alice would object to my leaving. Rosalie wouldn't be happier. She wouldn't have me rummaging through her superficial mind. Carlisle and Esme worked too hard for me to be the person they think I am. The outer layer of my infinite layered shell. I fooled them long enough, it was time for me to just begin to accept that after eighty-four and a half years of existence, sixty-seven and a half of them not supposed to be existing, I should just believe it, myself.

_Edward_, Jasper thought. Of course. He knew what I was feeling. I waved reluctantly, smiling simply at my favorite sibling. His thoughts rang in my ears as if he were speaking. _Brother, you are whom we all see_. Oh, Jasper. His words were comforting, almost too comforting. I barely noticed his marble hand on my shoulder as I laughed. I knew mere words would not settle this feeling of complete emptiness.

_Edward, stop it. I was having a good day, you know. Smile, maybe you'll meet a friend_. My eyes locked with Jasper's for a sixty-fourth of a second until we both broke out into laughter. Interacting with humans was like interacting with snails. They were so simple-minded, so one-dimensional. I would be sitting in a room full of too many of them. I thought about how I could easily crush them with my pinkie. How fragile and weak they were. It was sickly comforting to know that I was superior to all of them. I almost felt like Rosalie, my beautiful, self centered, hateful sister. Though, it was true. Vampires were the better humans. Designed to kill, but it would be our only flaw. Some vampires, anyways. Carlisle for example, would be defined as a super human. Well, super being. He completely denied his thirst, only relying on animals to feed. I admired his strength. Strength no God from any heavens would grant me. I would never see that kind of mercy. Nor would I seek it.

My day would be just as usual as every other day. I'm taking courses I've only taken twice already. Maybe I'll actually learn something I don't already know. _Edward, stop being so pessimistic_; I really need to get away from Jasper.

I grabbed the keys to my Volvo and stalked off in an inhumanly speed to my car. There was absolutely no traffic in Forks. There never was.

I let my mind wander as I casually glided through the long roads that lead me to the main highway. I would be in the school parking lot in about two minutes and thirty-four seconds. I didn't need my psychic sister, Alice, to tell me that. I drive at criminal speeds – with extreme accuracy. We all do. Never once have any of us gotten a speeding ticket. The same cars all parked in the same spaces, the same children gossiping about their daily races. I picked up on the thoughts of that sickly annoying, Mike Newton. S_he is hot. Tyler wasn't kidding – I gotta ask her out. Maybe I'll have some classes with her…_ Yet again, he is reminiscing about his latest infatuation. Hopefully the poor girl has enough sense to realize that he'll break her in the end. _Isabella Swan, damn_. Who? I briefly heard Chief Swan thinking about this girl. Swan, yes, she must be his daughter. From what his thoughts showed, she is a beautiful girl. Chocolate brown curls hanging low at her waist, with the lovely compliment of chocolate brown eyes. They say she's come from Phoenix – she's awfully pale to be from there. It's a place I'd like to visit some day, yet it would be impossible for me, for my family. Either way, for once in his life, Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley have something right. This girl is the most beautiful human I have ever laid eyes on. If I were human, too, I would be drooling over her just like those awful boys. Yet, after existing for so long, a beautiful girl would not satisfy me. Someone to speak with, to not shy away from what I am, is what I do need. Never have I found her, never will I. I spotted an unfamiliar 1953 Chevrolet pick up truck. The girl in everyone's thoughts, stood leaning against the door reading a battered version of _Wuthering Heights_. She seemed oblivious to the rapacious comments about her truck, and the eyes that skimmed her slim body. I stepped closer without even realizing it, as I tried to hear what she was thinking. Nothing. Was she that moronic? Nothing is going through her mind? Just as I was thinking that, she turned to her truck, opened the door and grabbed her bag, then walked off towards the school, keeping her eyes on her feet as the eyes of every male standing there watched her walk. All I could comprehend at that very second, was that I couldn't hear what she was thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

_I do not own Twilight or any of its characters; I simply praise Stephenie Meyer for her imagination._

_This was written, assuming you've read Twilight and am familiar with the characters - for they are not all explained. _

_I will not post any more chapters until I get reviews! I don't want to be making a fool of myself if people don't like my writing. __**The more **_

_**reviews I get, the more I'll post and keep writing!!**_

_**This chapter is from the honeymoon. The first night on the water… was a disappointment in my opinion. We wanted a little more lemons, but no smut. So, here is my version of the water scene with Edward and Bella on Isle Esme.**_

I heard Bella rummaging around and mumbling to herself from the inside of our cottage. Her nervousness only fed into my own. Emmett's words before we left, surprisingly calmed me, seeing as he was the first person to joke about mine and Bella's sex life – or lack there of.

"_Edward, seriously. The more you try and plan how things will go, the more you will mess up. We all know Bella is fragile. You trust her judgment, right? Well. She is certain that things will be fine. So, if you can't muster up the strength to do this, rely on Bella's. Seriously, dude, you need this. Maybe when you come back, your panties won't be in a twist, and Jasper will be relieved from Bella's sexual frustrations."_

Oh, Emmett. Though he had a point, it still will never help me if I do end up hurting her. As this thought was being processed, I heard Bella curse to herself. I'm assuming she had now found the clothes Alice packed for her. I hoped, for Bella's sanity, that Alice packed at least some of her clothes. The screen door opened slightly, and Bella's scent danced through the moist air. I could smell her sweat, and it again, made me much more nervous. I heard her drop an article of some sort – I'm assuming a towel, and she tiptoed from the dock, to the waterfront, and then to my side. I found the courage to turn and look at Bella for the first time, fully exposed, laid out for me. Her nakedness was arousing, yet, at the same time, I wanted so much to cry. She was nothing short of a Goddess. Her skin, pale white as mine glimmered from the water, and her eyes resembled the moon, and the stars. I wouldn't ever have to move from where I am, looking into the chocolate of her eyes was as much pleasure I would ever need. Her breasts were perfectly round, and her nipples erect from the coolness of the ocean water. I saw a blush slither from her chest to her forehead, and I realized that the fact that I was glorifying her made her self-conscious. She raised an arm over her breasts, and looked down at her feet.

"I'm sorry… I'm probably making you uncomfortable. When you're ready, for anything, just tell me. But promise me on any condition, Bella, that if I hurt you, you must tell me at once." I tried to make my tone of voice sound timid yet serious.

She just nodded her head. It's all she had to do. I lifted her chin with one hand and moved her arm away from her body with the other.

"Please don't hide yourself from me…if there is something you don't want seen, I'll go get you a shirt…" I tried offering something, anything, to make her feel more comfortable. I wish she didn't feel so insecure… she was so breathtakingly beautiful.

She shook her head, and backed away. I could tell from the look in her eyes she hadn't been breathing. I wrapped my hand around her back and moved my lips to her ear.

"It me, Bella. It is me, always has been and always will be me."

She looked up, and this time, a certain confidence glinted from her eyes. I knew any shadow of doubt from her mind had vanished as easily as it came. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I lifted her so she wasn't straining herself. Her lips touched mine, and for the first time, I my tongue linger farther than there. She sighed, and I was completely aroused. She wrapper her legs around my waist, and I carried her up to the cottage.

Our night was nothing but blissful. Successfully, we made love without any worries. We fit together, just like we do with every other part of our lives. Fire and ice, at last, it was proven that in our case, neither destroyed each other.

I watched Bella sleep beside me. Tonight, she had nothing to speak of. I was glad that her mind was at rest. She turned, exposing the upper half of her body to me, as her lower half was covered with a thin layer of a sheet. I was as stunned as the first time I had seen her. I hoped that this reaction would never fade. Her body was simply too glorious to ever not be praised. She rolled over and unconsciously slid herself on top of me, so that she lay on her stomach, across my chest. I stopped breathing, incase it would wake her, and I drifted into my own peaceful trance.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hi everyone! I realize that there was some confusion as to why I didn't carry on with the first Chapter. I honestly just decided I didn't want to do it, haha. I decided that I'd have more fun with writing crucial scenes from the series (in my mind) and I know that I'll give you better quality writing if I do something that I would really enjoy. I hope you're enjoying my work so far, I'm LOVING the feed back!_**

**_This scene, is one closest to my heart. It's when Edward and Bella are back from the Volturi, and he's told her that he still loves her. The first kiss in my mind, was incredibly important. As much as I love Stephenie's way of putting it – it just wasn't enough for me. There needed to be more passion… a little more fire. After all, star crossed lovers who were wedged from being together for so long would only expect a little heat in the first reunion. So here it is folks – the kissing scene we all wanted. Events in this will be modified to my liking, and HOPEFULLY yours. ANYTHING IN BOLD IS FROM THE BOOK._**

Her pain reflected my own. Her eyes, broken, shattered, from my own actions. I couldn't stand to see the tears forming in her eyes any longer. She was never going to believe that all I ever wanted and will ever want is her. I could never bring myself to ever understand the torture I must have inflicted upon her life. Victoria coming back… I will kill her in the most painful way. Laurent – he's lucky the wolves got him. I would have made his death painful and slow. I would have watched the fire travel up his dismantled body, keeping his head intact, so he could watch the rest of himself burst into nothing but ashes, the pile of nothing he is.

Her face, cradled in my stone like hands, crumpled into misery as her tears of misconception and hurt fell down like the rain the first night I left. I climbed the tallest tree in forks and watched over here, following her. Hoping, no, praying that if any God in this pathetic world existed; he would bring her safely home to Charlie. Yet, she walked for minutes on lifeless legs, trying desperately to find me. I tried to will myself to go, but the thought of leaving her here, not knowing if she'd find her way back or not was just too much. I stayed there until someone came for her. If they didn't, I would have taken her back, and left for good. She fell to her knees and cried out my name, in a tortured voice. I again prayed that she'd move on. She passed out on the ground, after hours of sobbing, and I went down to make sure she hadn't hurt herself. In her unconsciousness, she cried, "_Come back to me_," and it was all I wanted to do.

The tears stained her face, and glistened in the slight light coming from the window. The moon was particularly beautiful tonight. It was almost as beautiful as Bella. Even in her worst state, beaten up from exhaustion and nearly being murdered in Italy. It was a new moon. It resembled the fact that I could no longer be without Bella. It was relentless. It comes to us every night, and I will from now on, come to her every night.

She struggled to breathe as her heart raced. I desperately wanted to know what could be going through her mind. I knew by the way that her eyes fell down to my lips, that she was now ready for me to kiss her, to break the barrier of space that was between us. I would comply, as I would do anything for her now. I was now a more than willing prisoner of her love, as I once said, _**"bring on the shackles."**_

I touched our lips faintly, not wanting to rush her into anything, but that wasn't enough for either of us. Too much time had been put between us. I wanted to wait, either way, for her okay. Half a second had passed us and her hands were tangled in my hair, and she was pulling my face to hers. **No pain in the world could ever have justified missing this. **She tried to maneuver herself onto my lap, hoping I wouldn't notice. For this one time, just this one time, I would let her do this. I would give her free reigns on our kissing. I placed my hands at the crook of her hips and pulled her on top of me. A grin spread over her face as she realized that I was giving her control. She released her hands from my hair and pulled at the neck of my button down shirt. I quickly ripped it off, saving her the trouble. I love the reactions I get from her. She opened her eyes and locked them on my chest, and traced the hard plains of my abdomen. She had no idea the affect she had on me, just the slightest touch sent an electric current through me. I needed more. I kissed her neck, and became intoxicated with the sweetness of her skin. I slid on innocent hand up her shirt, making her shiver as I traced circles around her bellybutton. I moved my hand up slower, cautiously, almost praying she'd tell my to stop. I wasn't sure when I'd be able to stop. But knowing Bella, she coaxed me more. She grabbed my hand and placed it on her breast, that was only covered with a thin sports bra. A low growl escaped my lips as I gently caressed the soft, warm sensation. This was all new to me. I had never seen or felt Bella in this way, and it was glorious. I had pictured it, time and time again, but never did I ever think she'd let me touch her in this way. A moan escaped her lips, and I could feel the blood rushing to her face. She was embarrassed. I looked up at her, reluctantly taking my lips away from the soft skin at the base of her throat, and told her to do it again. Louder. I told her to tell me everything she felt. All of the bad and good. All she could say was, "_Please don't stop. Please don't ever leave me again, Edward. Please…"_ And that crumpled my will. I would forever belong to Bella Swan. I would protect her from every harm, including the vial werewolves and that Jacob Black. I would kill Victoria, and then I would marry her. And if immortality were what she would choose, I would give it to her. **I love her, did love her and always will love her, **and will never leave her side, not until the core of my existence ceases to exist.


End file.
